Kiss
Puke
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
