did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
