And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize