i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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