I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
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Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
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Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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