is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
