True but thats because hes a fetus.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
