Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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