Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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