naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
