its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
