he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
