She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
