3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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