i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
