I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
