Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
