i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Randomize
