i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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