My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
