To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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