Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
