Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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