My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
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Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
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When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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