We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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