I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
