Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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