You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
