i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
