God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
