Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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