you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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