Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
