Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
