I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize