It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
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Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
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sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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