is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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