if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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