I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
