I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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