I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
