So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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