So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
