Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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