Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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