I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
