I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
