I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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