the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
