if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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