Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize