I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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