Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize