How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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