Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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