they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
