she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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