Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
