Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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