Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
